The Sky is Falling, the Sky is Falling! Save the Kids!

https://www.afrc.af.mil/News/Art/igphoto/2000403174/  photo by Virin

The first earthquake I experienced was the Sylmar Earthquake in 1971 when I was a young mother and we had newly moved to California.  

U.S. Geological Survey, Desert Sun

I hadn’t even thought of planning for an earthquake, and I didn’t know what was happening as I awoke to a shaking bed.  Luckily, we were far enough away from the epicenter to not have any damage.  By the time the shaking stopped, we were in our three daughters’ bedroom.  They were sleeping in a triple bunk bed, and weren’t scared at all.  They just thought that one of the others was shaking the bed.

We just recently felt some shaking from the Ridgecrest earthquake, and it reminded me that children are very vulnerable during disasters, that seem to be  increasing in number, and we need to know how to help them cope.  Here in California there are threats of earthquakes and possible tsunamis, wildfires, floods, as well as house fires, power outages, chemical spills, terrorism or school shootings.  Other areas of the country face hurricanes, tornados, and horrific lightning and thunder storms that can scare children.

According to the National Disaster Report Card on Protecting Children in Disasters, 2014, less than half of American families have an emergency plan.  If unprepared, a small disaster can affect our children just as much as a larger disaster and cause more stress for children.  “Children affected by large-scale disasters are five times as likely to suffer from serious emotional issues… and these negative effects can linger well into their teen and adult years.”  https://www.savethechildren.org/content/dam/usa/reports/emergency-prep/GRGS-PARKS-REC-GUIDE.PDF  Save the Children  Protecting Children in Disasters

Being prepared to protect children can help preserve their sense of security, which is at the very essence of what it means to be a child.  So make a plan, maybe several plans.  One for earthquakes, one for fire, one for shootings, etc.  Teach them what to do.  The internet has many sources of material at child’s level of understanding.  Practice your plan regularly, so they will understand what is happening.  

Earthquake Practice  Photo by Sharon Brown

Practice is the best way to be sure the information sticks.  If the children are young, make it a game so they will be less scared and more willing to practice.  This will empower them and equip them with the tools they need to stay safe.  It helps them to feel that they are not just victims, but are active participants in their own safety.  It builds their natural resilience so they can bounce back more quickly.  Make sure your plan includes a strategy for reuniting after an emergency.  This relieves some of the uncertainty and stress during the disaster. 

Put together a family disaster kit.  Involve your kids in the planning and packing.  

abcactionnews.com

Have your kids help you remember expiration dates.  My son and his wife change their emergency food and water twice a year.  Their kids keep reminding them, because they get to eat all the granola bars, hard candy, and other goodies in their emergency packs.  They also change out their emergency clothes to their current sizes.

Immediately after the calamity, stay calm.  Those little observers pick up on our emotions and their reactions often depend on our own reactions.  If we are running around crying that the sky is falling, the kids will panic too.  If we deal with it calmly and confidently, that will affect our child’s ability to cope also.  It’s okay to acknowledge that things are tough right now, but things will work out and they will be safe.

As helpless as we feel in such dangerous situations, our children are likely to feel even more so.  Give them some control.  “According to the National Association for the Education of Young Children, adults need to give children power over at least a few daily choices so they have at least some control over their lives.  It can be as little as what game to play or song to sing next.  Any amount of control you can give them only adds to feelings of security.”

https://www.mother.ly/child/help-kids-cope-natural-disasters by Lacey Wulf

Keep your kids close.  According to the FEMA, young children feel most insecure about being left alone and getting separated from their family.  During and after the disaster, try to keep your children physically close to you.  

Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst Airman 1st Class Mayra Colon-Santiago, holds 10-month-old Eving Feneus

Hug them and verbally reassure them you’re all together and safe.  After the Northridge earthquake, our youngest daughters, 12 and 14, wanted to sleep in our bedroom, so we made them beds on the floor right next to our bed.

Be honest with your children in an age appropriate manner.  It helps them understand what is going on and to use whatever plan you’ve created.  My mother was a child during the 1933 Long Beach earthquake.  Her dad was listening to the radio broadcasting from the top of the LA city hall and describing how it was swaying.  There was tremendous static, which my mother thought was people screaming, and it terrified her.  The facts would have been calming to her.  Many experts recommend limiting media exposure to prevent further trauma.  Taking a break from watching the news can lessen their distress and anxiety.

Image by Vidmir Raic from Pixabay  

Let them express their feelings honestly.  Don’t pooh-pooh their fears in an effort to calm them.  Their feelings are just as valid as yours, and talking about them will help children heal after a crisis.  “Children who have been victims of flooding often say that their families and schools didn’t listen to their experiences, worries or problems.  They also say that they didn’t want to burden their family and teachers with these worries.  So even if your child seems fine, let them know that their feelings are important to you and let their voice be heard.”  Children who talk about what happened and how it felt often recover more quickly.

http://theconversation.com/how-to-help-children-recover-from-the -trauma-of-disaster-88090 The Conversation How to help children recover from the trauma of disaster, Nov. 30, 2017 by Florence Halstead

Make the time after a tragedy as fun as possible.  Play games, enjoy each other’s company, let them draw pictures of what happened.  

Chile Earthquake Municipalidad de Talcahuano originally posted to flicker

Instead of being afraid of staying in the house, play camping out.

Let them help in the physical recovery process in age-appropriate ways.  It is heartbreaking for them to see their own belongings destroyed, but it gives them a sense of closure and control if they’re the ones throwing out their damaged possessions and contributing to the clean-up efforts.  Encourage your children in helping other families.  Teenagers can muck out houses after floods or mud slides, or provide lunches for other workers. 

However, make sure they have appropriate protective clothing and work in safe conditions.  When Alabama was struck with over 250 tornadoes in 2011, there were more injuries from recovery efforts among children who were not protected while assisting with debris cleanup than injuries from the tornado itself.

After the disaster, try to resume your normal routine as much as possible.  This will comfort children, help them make sense of their surroundings, and feel comforted.  Keeping schedules consistent, be it snack time, story time, or bed time, is crucial in helping children cope and recover.  They are also comforted by things they can touch and hold such as blankets, stuffed animals or toys.

Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay 

But be aware that children will likely be extra clingy and need extra care and reassurance.  Some may regress to younger behavior like bed-wetting, thumb sucking, or separation anxiety.  They may have tantrums or have a hard time sleeping.  Grade school children may feel sad, mad, or afraid it might happen again.  Preteens and teens can respond to trauma by acting out, or others may be afraid to leave the house.  They may feel overwhelmed by their intense emotions which may displace to arguing or fighting with family. 

There are many good children’s books that treat fears and disasters that may help our children better manage their feelings.  

Spend time with them, reassuring them that you are all together and safe, and listen to their concerns and feelings. 

Children caught in natural or man-made disasters can suffer from trauma and bereavement far longer than adults realize.”  Children who suffered through Katrina took several years “to see a lessening of post-traumatic stress and depression symptoms. …the most important way to help children recover was to build and maintain supportive relationships.”

The Washington Post The serious and long-lasting impact of disaster on schoolchildren 2017 by Valerie Strauss

Often parents don’t observe the symptoms of trauma such as intrusive memories and feelings of detachment.  “Post-traumatic stress can manifest largely without parents’ awareness” according to a group of researchers led by Joy Osofsky of the Louisiana State University Health Sciences Center.  There’s a tendency to say, ‘Look, the kids are better’—meaning they aren’t crying anymore

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:2013_Bushehr_earthquake_By_Mardetanha_072.jpg

…But they still may not be functioning at full level,” said David Schonfeld, director of the National Center for School Crisis and Bereavement at the University of Southern California.  Education Week, July 20, 2019 Children’s Trauma Lasts Long After Disasters, Studies Show

If regressive behaviors don’t subside after the events, or they develop negative behaviors like aggression, depression, etc., you may want to get some outside help. Many agencies provide resources and guidance for children’s mental health recovery. 

School's Out; Learning Begins

                                                                                        Ellen M. Bonner/The Seattle Times

Oh, what do you do in the summertime?  Kids relax, play, imagine, create.  But can they increase their IQ?

I have always believed that I could help my children’s IQ’s grow by increasing their experiences.  It turns out that my belief now has some scientific backing.  There are two types of IQ.  One is crystallized IQ, which is genetic and static.  The other is fluid IQ, which is the “general ability to think abstractly, reason, discern relationships, solve out-of-the-box problems, recognize patterns and evaluate problems by piecing together information that isn’t necessarily formally taught.¹  People who rate high on the trait of openness to new experiences are constantly seeking new information, new activities to engage in, new things to learn—new experiences in general.  New experiences create new synaptic connections which build on each other.  “Novelty also triggers dopamine which not only kicks motivation into high gear, but stimulates neurogenesis (the creation of new neurons) and prepares your brain for learning.” ²  If fluid IQ makes relationships, recognizes patterns, pieces together unrelated information, our children need the information, facts, and different points of view to make those connections.  They need experiences.

During the summer, when my children were young, I planned two outings each week, one educational and one fun.  The kids always enjoyed visits to museums.  One of their favorites was the California Science Center with its fun and informative exhibits.  Through hands-on experiences, they learned about human inventions and innovations, lighting up mock cities, learning how water flows, how motors work, the life processes of living things, making huge soap bubbles, and more.

Another favorite was the San Diego Science Center, especially the display on sound waves that made patterns in huge bowls of water, or plates of sand.  The children’s museums such as Kidspace, where they could act out being a fireman, or newscaster, or other occupations, and La Habra Children’s Museum with art work they could do, costumes for putting on plays, and a mini-carousal.  The Natural History Museum and La Brea Tar Pits fed their fascination for dinosaurs, saber tooth tigers, and mastodons.  

Cynthinee on flickr

The Tar Pits have the added enticement of gooey sticky tar bubbles popping here and there around the grounds.

The Gene Autry Museum, Calico Ghost Town, and the Southwest Indian Museum opened their eyes to Western history, as did visits to historic houses such as Adobe de Palomares,

Rains House, and the home of Will Rogers. 

They traveled back in time at the Orange Empire Railway Museum, where they explored trains and trolleys of the past, even having a ride on one.  There are automobile museums, the Planes of Fame museum in Chino with WWII planes that are operational and fly in air shows, and they could even travel to the stars at planetarium shows from the local colleges.  At Griffith Observatory, if you chose the right times, you can look through the telescopes at the planets.

They saw antiquities at the Getty Villa and art at the new Getty and Norton Simon art museums, as well as special showings at the Los Angeles Art Museum.  The Huntington Library was a favorite.  After the obligatory visit to the old books room (Gutenberg bible, Ben Franklin's diary, etc.) and the art museum featuring Blue Boy and Pinkie, they escaped to the Japanese garden and ran free among the bamboos by the lake.  Descanso Gardens has peacocks, and they loved to feed the ducks at Cal Poly.

They had their hearts and minds opened at the Museum of Tolerance to the effects of bullying and hatred.

Culturally, I took them (sometimes reluctantly) to ballets, operas, band concerts, piano concerts, concerts in the park featuring all types of music, rock and roll, or folk music, or hip hop.  One daughter says, “I remember going to my first opera “Aida” when I was in the fourth grade.  When I mentioned I had attended an opera at school the next day, my teacher was so impressed that I decided opera was a cool thing.  Lol.”  

Steven Pisano on flickr

Another said, “I remember a modern dance performance I didn’t understand, and I discovered a surprising liking for Bluegrass music.”  We went to children’s plays, operettas, Mexican dance shows, and once even to a Kabuki performance.  (My 16-year-old son really liked the over-the top costumes and acting).

One time we went to a concert at the Hollywood bowl.  We took our own picnic and ate on the grass.  My 4-year-old was looking forward to the fireworks at the end of the concert as they played the 1812 Overture, but unfortunately, he fell asleep before it happened.  The older ones enjoyed the concert, but what they really remember was getting trapped in the underpass as people were entering one end faster than they were exiting the other end.  Claustrophobic tensions were rising among everyone until someone started singing “Row, row, row your boat.”  Everyone joined in and the silliness of it released the tension.  We finally exited, but they learned something there too.

For fun, we went to the beach.  We loved the beach and would often spend the day (once we even camped for a week with my sister and her kids).  “I remember driving to the beach and staying late to avoid the rush hour traffic, chasing sand crabs, cooking corn in seawater over the fire-pit, and perfecting the technique of drip sandcastles, and slamming into waves and always ending up with a sunburn because I was too busy playing in the waves or sand than keeping the sun off.  I remember being surprised when we went to rocky beaches with tide pools and their briny life."  

Max Pixel

My husband would drive the hour down after work and we would cook dinner on the beach.  We waited for grunion which never came because we were always too noisy.  We visited tide pools and aquariums, swam in pools and water parks. 

We went on hikes, ate dinners in the mountains, went camping, fishing, and star gazing at Joshua Tree Nat. Park.  We went to amusements parks maybe once a summer, but visited the library often. We went to the zoo and laughed at the gorillas and monkeys, watched the otters play, were awed by the elephants and felt sorry for the lions and tigers as they paced.  We visited Griffith Park and rode the little train, the ponies, and the carousal.  In fact, we visited many parks in the area, some with unique playground equipment like rockets or trains, some with hills and ponds.  One daughter said, “I remember gathering black walnuts from the trees at the park to take home and crack open to eat, so I have a particular fondness for them, and picking lawn daisies or clover blossoms for daisy chains, and climbing on the sea creature sculptures at Ganesha Park and swimming lessons and firework displays there.”  We often went with cousins.  My kids thought everything was better with cousins.

One summer we went on a six-week camping trip around the U.S. across the south, up the east coast, and back through middle America.  One child’s memories: “Our trip around the U.S., from Carlsbad to the sweat shores of the Gulf, to the swamps of Florida, the east coast waves, the cram packed buses of New Jersey to the heat inside the Statue of Liberty, my first taste of fresh blueberries.  And cultural history stops at Plymouth, Jamestown, Williamsburg and Boston and Tom Sawyer’s cave, the Corn Palace and the huge carved faces at Mount Rushmore, the endless prairies and the beauty of Colorado’s Estes Park.”

I once worked with a group of teens that had been hooked on drugs.  I was amazed at how many of them, living in the Los Angeles area, had never been to the beach, had never been to the mountains, had never been to the desert.  They saw life from only the narrow viewpoint of their own neighborhoods.

We had a lot of children and not much money (we were just barely above the free lunch threshold), but we prioritized these activities. We drank powdered milk and dressed in thrift store clothes so we had money for doing things with our kids.  We found many free community performances, and free days at the museums.  We always brought our own picnic; we never bought the overpriced food at the venues.  My daughter who now sings in the Tabernacle Choir wrote, “I appreciate that you tried so hard to find free/cheap things for us to do to increase our exposure to (and therefore appreciation of) cultural activities.  I liked them at the time, too.”

We went to the County Fair each year.  Each of the children made a chocolate cake to enter in the children’s chocolate cake contest.  

Miklo on Wickapedia

With the contest entry came a free pass to the fair.  We didn’t go on the expensive rides but visited the model trains, the county displays, the home arts demonstrations, the school exhibits, the art exhibitions, the garden and flower displays.  My oldest daughter said, “I have so many fond memories of the giant redwood slab, browsing all the craft and art and garden exhibits, and performing with my school class and entering my cakes.  I have my best crepe recipe from the Incredible Egg demonstration there.”  We brought our own food, enjoyed ourselves and only paid for parking.

I don’t know if all these activities actually increased their IQ’s.  They are all really smart.  But I do know that it helps them enjoy more things, appreciate things outside their own viewpoints, and has enhanced their lives.